It's · all · peeling · bark · around · here!

When you are in a funk, what do you do?

My friends list is starting to compile a holiday card list. Should I get my act together?

A week is a long time. WIll everything go well with my Mom?

What kind of bread will you NOT eat?

I’m no longer 11
Watching her scratch at the headliner
Sifting plaster

I’m nearly 30
Appliance troubles of my own
She say’s “and that was that, Darlin’ ”

Because now I’m her Darlin’
No longer those names she called me
When I was 12, 15, or 19

Susan came back over this afternoon, baring an adult ticket to the fair, compliments of the Mariposa Democrat Club. Since tomorrow is "kids day", we will be off at the fair.

Today we spent taking advantage of the Netflik 2 week trial, thus zoning out, watching Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman season 1 vol.1 and part of vol. 2. Dr. Quinn rules. Is their another show that holds a 29 year old, 9 year old, and 5 year olds attention hour after hour? Other than Little House on the Prairie?

I give in, I feel like I'm on the prairie. If I sit just right on the patio, so a huge pine tree blocks the house on the other side of the canyon, I feel like I'm all alone in the world. I imagine what it was like for the homesteaders who built this place. Then I go inside and watch a fuzzy episode of COPS, and not feel sooo alone.

I think we will drive into town and go to the parade. My neighbor Susan(not "Sue"), will be walking with the Mariposa Democrats. So, I'll know someone...

She came over on Thursday, because their was another fire, and she wanted to let me know that it was on the other side of the highway in case I was "worried". Really, I just thought it was smog. That makes fire number 9. I just hope the "arsonist", doesn't burn down this lovely abode.

Off to town. Don't forget the American flag pinwheels.

1. I like the quiet, but I'm starting to get lonely. Called Peter crying tonight, just because I was spent dealing with the kids. I have hardly even seen Peter. I know HE'S the one who is more spent, just in a different type of way. Really, he comes home from school after I'm asleep (11 pm or so). Then he's gone when I pull myself up out of bed around 7 am.

2. It's a sad day when your a teacher and your kids qualify for the free lunch program at school.

3. Paper Moons and Macaroons

I have been waking up, doing a LOAD OF LAUNDRY -- No hauling up a flight of stairs and plunking 4 quarters to make it run. The drier still needs a propane converter, so IN MY PJ'S, I moosie down the rockery steps and hang my wash to dry. While I do this I look at the hawks, quail, or robins fluttering around. Then I water my petunias, begonias, lavender, aloe vera, and budding herb garden. Maybe a little weeding.

I come inside, yell at the kids for pouring cereal all over my freshly mopped floor. Load the glorious DISHWASHER, wipe down the beatiful blue on white painted tile counter. Feed the stray-cats-that-came-with-the-house, that I named Peaches 'n Cream and Sunflower Seed. Water my pansies that are growing next to the Miners Cabin, maybe empty the bee trap.

Make a loaf a bread or lemonade. Maybe unpack a box or go out and work on clearing brush from the meadow. At some point around 4, I start making dinner, and wonder if the mail came, and climb the 1/2 mile up the mountain to fetch a stray bill and a Highlights Magazine.

After dinner, we wait for the family of deer to come and graze in our yard. Until the older Doe decides that SHE wants the lavender next to the garage. Then I go inside and get a pot and a wooden spoon and chase her back by the barn. She can have the walnuts, persimmons, and crab apples. But leave my lavender ALONE!

I put the kids to bed, and wait for Peter to come home by taking a bath in the most wonderful bathtub in the world. Around 9:30, he stumbles in. Complains that I use too much onions and garlic, and goes to bed.

So here I am. It's 11:40pm.

Nia got the flu first, two nights after we took Sarah to the Sacramento airport. We had to go up to Chico to finish up a few things, and then I took the girls to my friend Victoria’s place to spend the night. Then we did some school shopping in Sacramento, finally found a copy of Whiskey Tango Ghosts, then came to Merced to do some supply shopping, finally getting home around 12 am.

A few hours later Nia woke up puking. And all day long it was nonstop. The next day Lydia, West and me got worst than sick, and yesterday Peter was dead to the world. How many days need to go by before you become a recluse? I haven’t seen a human being outside my family since Wednesday, much less been off the 10 acres that the house sits on.

Apparently the property corners a crick ( or creek…), the should dig out my hiking boots and brave the rattle snakes and go on an adventure. Or, brave the 4 miles to the community gas/liquor store to shell out $2.50 for the SF Sunday paper.

Yesterday, I said to Peter "I'm going to the Cookhouse for dinner tomrrow" and he just looked at me and rolled his eyes. The funny thing is that I'm allergic to seafood and fish, so I'm not really sure what would be an option, but I have that manic energy that say's "YOU HAVE TO GO!!!!!!!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO!"

By the way, we are broke

What do you think?
Poll #330783 Last Supper
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Do I fulfill my dream?

Now, my mom has used to word “transplant”. Of course, being the pessimist I am, I equal that with death. I need to state the obvious, if my step dad passes away; I think my mom will lose it for real. She told me tonight that she’s not worried, that everything will be fine. I don’t believe her. But, you have to be supportive, and say things like “things HAVE to be fine”. When the truth is that is just a matter of time. I just hope that it’s next year or better yet five years and not next week…

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Thanks ygolonac for the great idea!

untitled renamed April

You don’t get a shopping high
You never did
Hair down to your ass
You twirl
It’s all about you
Or so it seems
Somewhere, between here and Salt Lake City
Cardboard boxes to newspaper wraps
North winds blast
To another suburb
Which might as well be in Connecticut
My zephyr
My oak trees
Gives you the finger
Now, that’s not polite
Finally
From the days of leaches and tadpoles
Spodi wet fingers
Drunk on the staircase
Sifting through blue Onesies
A missed placed letter
Or my children’s photo
Dropped behind your fridge
You lost the winning numbers
You always did

Poll #316480 While I was on summer vacation.......
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Did anything BIG happen to you while I was away?

If you are American, what will you or did you do, for the 4th?

If you are NOT American, what did you do on Sunday?

What was the last movie you saw?

Did laundry?

Have pizza?

Sneeze?

Ask me ANY question you want (about my trip or not).

Am I smoking crack?